Things A Papa Don't Know
by shadowinthedark13
Summary: He's just no good at this dad thing. Soul/Maka, with some baby on the side.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Things A Papa Don't Know

**Rating/Warnings: **T

**Word Count: **2, 404

**Character(s):** Soul 'Eater' Evans, Maka Albarn, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, Black Star, Melody Evans

**Pairing(s):** Soul/Maka, slight Black Star/Tsubaki

**Summary:** He's just no good at this 'dad' thing.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's Notes: **So I had this all planned out to be a five-shot, but I think if I keep having ideas, I may just add on Soul/Melody/Maka stuff. I go by the anime, since I have't read enough of the manga to really write about it. Also, if you haven't caught it yet, I named Soul and Maka's daughter Melody. Uh, if anything seems wrong with her, please let me know so I can fix it for the next chapter. I also wanted to thank _MarshofSleep_ over on tumblr (and she's on here, but I asked on her tumblr blog) for the help with the baby stuff! She helped me out a lot. Anything that doesn't make sense in here, please let me know.

* * *

_01. when she won't sleep at night_

* * *

"Did you hear me Soul?" Maka snaps, hands on her hips as she stares him down. Soul is thankful that she doesn't have a book anywhere nearby (that he can see). Not that he thinks she'd hit him with Melody so close. He holds their daughter closer and grins at her.

"Yup."

Maka glares at him for a moment, greens eyes bright, before she directs her gaze toward Melody. He eyes soften and she holds her arms out for the baby. Soul doesn't hesitate to hand her over.

While Maka says goodbye to her daughter, Soul makes his way to the kitchen, stretching his arms above his head, enjoying the way his muscles stretch and joints crack. He and Maka had had to show some of the one-star meisters their Soul Resonance today, not that he minded. It'd just been a while since he'd done it. What with the baby and the influx of new students, the two of them hadn't been on any missions for a while. Not that he was complaining, really. It was nice to have a break now and again, and Soul knew Maka felt the same. But they were restless, under practiced, and with the baby, practicing was a very rare occurrence now.

That was why Maka was going on this…_field trip,_ that Kid had set up for her class. She'd been wary of it at first, not sure if she wanted to leave Melody (and Soul, she'd quickly added when she'd been his annoyed face). But Kid had practically begged and Soul figured it'd be good for both of them. He would learn more about babies and Melody and how Maka got four hours of sleep a night but still managed to teach, and Maka would be able to assault her students and be in charge for a whole three nights. Everyone won, really.

He's not really _sure_ why he came into the kitchen. It might have had something to do with giving Maka alone time with Melody before she had to leave. Yeah, probably that. He hears her walking toward the kitchen as he tugs his tie loose—looser than it already is—and pulls off his suit jacket.

"You're going to have to suffer _four_ whole days with him." Soul turns to see Maka talking to their daughter seriously, and he snorts.

"She should feel honored."

"I don't know what made you think that," Maka raises an eyebrow, smirk growing on her face. Melody looks between her parents, her short white pigtails bobbing with the movement. Then, she laughs, showing the beginning of little white teeth poking out of her gums.

Maka looks at Melody again, kissing her cheek quickly. "I've got to head out if I want to be on time."

"Be fashionably late-!"

"I wish." Maka steps forward, handing Melody to Soul, who scoops her up into his arms, spinning her around a bit. She laughs, slapping his arms. Then, it's Maka's turn.

She sighs, shoulders drooping slightly, like she's got a weight on them. Soul's going to miss her. "Make sure you put her to bed on time or she'll never sleep. Got it?"

"Aye, aye, captain," he kisses her, holding Melody tight as he leans forward to meet her lips. The kiss ends sooner than both would like, but Melody starts fussing from being shoved against Soul's shoulder. The weapon and meister pull away from each other reluctantly, Maka's hand rising to rest on Soul's cheek. "By the way, we're out of milk."

* * *

"You're mama's ridiculous," Soul complains to Melody. "As if I'd put you in day care. This is Daddy-Melody time while mama's gone away."

Melody continues to babble, and Soul hopes he's come late enough that the students have already gotten to class. Because while he loves his daughter, walking through the halls of the DWMA with a giggling baby girl and diaper bag in hand would not help his reputation. _Not that I care about my reputation,_ Soul adds as an afterthought, eyes narrowing at nothing in particular. Cool guys don't worry about that shit.

Luckily, only a few students linger in the hallways, all looking his way as Melody talks to him in that special language that only Maka understands. He seriously doesn't understand how she can turn "tishtky" into "thirsty". It baffles him and amuses him at the same time.

He hefts the bag higher up on his shoulder and tries to find an excuse to tell Kid why he brought his kid to work.

* * *

"Tsubaki," Soul speaks through his plugged nose, red eyes darting to his squirming daughter, completely oblivious of the massive, foul smelling shit she just took. "Tsubaki it's an emergency."

She frowns at him through the mirror, and somewhere behind him Kid is yelling about something and Liz and Patti and freaking the fuck out and Soul is no good at dirty diapers. But Tsubaki, queen of diaper changing and all things baby, is. "What's the emergency?"

"My child," he replies, eyes pleading. "She shit."

Melody, finally realizing that she did in fact shit, begins to scream and cry.

The shadow weapon stares Soul down for a moment, then mutters, "I knew I shouldn't have substituted for Maka."

* * *

"Daddy and Melody day is not a success so far."

Soul's chin is propped up by his fist, his foot absently rocking his daughter's car seat that she is currently asleep in. "Melody. You're being rude."

"Leave her be," Tsubaki snaps at him from where she and Black Star are talking to kid. She's got her hands on her hips, pretty blue eyes narrowing. She's gotten a lot scarier ever since Black Star knocked her up, and although she's only about six month's pregnant, she's huge.

"_That's because that's __**my**__ kid in there. Of course he'll be huge! A huge fuckin' star!" Black Star sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd come to the DWMA for a mission report and decided to fuck around for a while. _

"_And what if it's a girl, big shot?"_

"_Er—well shut up!"_

"Well I dunno' if she's allowed to sleep!" Soul snaps, shoving his hands into his pockets. "She never naps anymore! Maka always makes her stay up all day so she sleeps well at night."

Tsubaki relaxes, her stance changing from crazy pregnant woman to the calm, collected woman Soul knows. "Well…maybe let her sleep for a little while longer? An hour can't hurt, right?"

Soul looks at Melody, a snot bubble hanging off the edge of her nostril. Soul sighs and nods, slumping lower into his chair.

* * *

"Uh—_hello?"_ Soul juggles the phone in his soapy hands before giving up and turning speaker on. "Maka?"

"_Hey don't be doing that in front of everyone—Soul? Oh, hey! Hi."_

"Hi," he chuckles, glancing at the phone for a moment before turning back to Melody, who is sitting upright in the tub and trying to eat bubble. Soul pulls her hand away from her and mimes biting it off. She laughs, head tossing back, legs kicking wildly. "Guess what happened to us today?"

Maka is quiet for a moment, and Soul thinks for a moment that she's actually trying to _guess,_ but then she sighs and says, _"Please tell me you didn't harass Tsubaki. She's only at the DWMA to fill in for me for a few days because Kid didn't want Black Star doing it."_

"No," Soul drawls, tipping Melody's head back and covering her forehead with one hand, the other scooping water up in a cup and dumping it over her thick white hair. She gets a little miffed at this, trying to bite his hand and nearly succeeding. He thanks Death that she got her mother's teeth and not his. Not that she has many teeth to begin with. "Actually, Melody said daddy."

"_Wh-what? No she didn't, Soul you __**liar!"**_

Soul laughs, winking at Melody and taking the baby shampoo in his grasp. He squirts some into his hand and rubs them together, lathering it up before rubbing it through the little girl's hair. She splashes him with bubbles which he manages to dodge somehow. Maka is still bitching about Melody's first word being daddy by the time he finishes.

"I was just messin' with you, Maka."

"_Ugh, Soul you jerk!"_ He knows if she were there he'd be unconscious on the floor, head smashed in from her Maka Chop.

"Hey do you think it's weird that she _hasn't_ spoken yet? I mean she's seven months, right? Almost eight. And she hasn't said anything."

"_I think it's okay. I mean, we usually just babble at her and talk in baby talk. So maybe she thinks that is how we speak? I don't know. She was kind of saying 'no' the other day while you were in the shower, but I didn't want to make a big deal in case I was imagining things."_

He watches Melody splash around in the water a bit longer, taking a few moments before he has to wash her body. He takes the phone into his hand after wiping them on his jeans and turns it off speaker. "Yeah, so how's the trip?"

"_Good! Some of the kids keep trying to sneak into each other's hotel rooms but I'm good at cock-blocking, so I manage to stop them."_

"You're no fun, Mrs. Evans."

"_Yeah well I can't stop the male and female partners, since they're sharing rooms. But whatever; we're going to the ruins of Baba Yaga Castle tomorrow. Should be fun."_

"Oodles of fun," Soul deadpans, scrambling to keep Melody upright. "I uh, I've got to finish giving Mel a bath."

Maka is silent again, but Soul can hear her soft breathing on the other line, and it relaxes him immensely. _"Alright. Love you, Soul. Give Melody hugs and kisses from her favorite parent."_

"Will do," he replies cradling the phone against his shoulder and ear, getting the wash cloth and soap ready. "I love you too, Maka."

Melody gurgles something that sounds suspiciously like 'mama' but Soul pretends to ignore it, because if she really is talking, then Maka would want to be here, and if she's just talking baby-speak, then he's going crazy.

He hangs up when he realizes he's listening to the dial tone, and gets to work scrubbing his kid clean.

* * *

It's three-thirty in the morning and Melody won't stop crying.

Soul immediately curses Kid for making Maka go on the field trip with her class, leaving him and their daughter here. Their daughter who cries like she's never going to stop. Their daughter who leaves Soul exhausted the next day.

Soul would feel bad if he weren't sleep deprived. But he knows that she won't stop crying unless he rocks her, and that's why he drags himself out of bed and fetches the kid—_his kid._

Her bedroom is right next door to his and Maka's, and when he pushes the door open, the screaming is even louder, if possible.

He glares at the squirming child, her face red, eyes squinched shut. The white haired man reaches for her, taking her into his arms and bringing her back to his bedroom. Maybe she'll sleep better if she's with someone. It wouldn't be the first time that she's slept with him.

"Baby girl," he murmurs, sitting back on the bed, his shoulders leaning against the headboard, legs crossed in front of him. "Why don't you cry like crazy for your mama?"

Even though Soul rocks her and whispers to her, Melody doesn't stop crying. If anything, it gets louder. "Kid, you'll wake the neighbours if you don't hush up."

And the crying doesn't stop. Despite his rocking and knee bouncing and the raspberries he gives her, Melody doesn't stop screeching. She hiccups and sobs and spits at Soul and he's so tired and fed up and _probably_ has to bring her to the DWMA tomorrow since he didn't know that not bringing her to day care the first day would mean she couldn't go the rest of the week. So he'll have an exhausted baby girl and he'll be dragging his ass.

It's almost four in the morning when he looks back at the clock. Awesome. Instead of rocking her again, Soul just lays down, setting Melody down beside him and tucking the blanket close around her. The weapon is thankful that she's not very tiny anymore so he won't roll over and squish her. His fingers run up and down her stomach. Watery red eyes blink up at him, mouth quivering with a new onslaught of tears

"No, Mel. Come on, please sleep for daddy?" Soul shuffles down until his head is on the pillow. He moves her so she's sitting on his chest. "Look, you can sleep there and daddy will sleep here. Everyone wins!"

He doesn't know how much longer she cries, but eventually she wears herself out and Soul passes out a few minutes after.

* * *

It's three nights later, the same night Maka got home from her trip, when Melody wakes them up with her loud shrieks.

Maka is startled awake. Jolting up in the bed, hand already out, as if waiting for Soul to turn into a scythe. She realizes this is silly, however, and pulls it back, resting it in her lap. "Huh, that's weird. She usually sleeps through the night unless she's not feeling well."

Soul, who had been awoken by Maka's jump and hand thrust in his face, just stares up at her with hazy red eyes. "Wha're you talkin' bout?

He's instantly awake of glaring green eyes on him, Maka's angry scowl pining him to the bed. "You let her sleep during the day, didn't you!"

"Well—well no shit! Tsubaki said it would be okay the first day, and then well—she kept me up all goddamn night and just fell asleep during the day and the same thing—"

"Happened the next day, yeah, I know. That's usually what happens. But whatever; go get your daughter, Soul."

He stares at her for a second, watches as she slides back down and tucks herself back in, turning away from him. All the while their daughter's cries penetrate their bedroom.

"Ma_kaaa,"_ Soul lets out an exasperated sigh, pulling himself out of the bed for the third time in a week. "You're so _mean."_

"_Maka—"_

Soul ducks out of their bedroom before the text book meets his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Things A Papa Don't Know

**Rating/Warnings: **T

**Word Count: **i, 517

**Character(s):** Soul 'Eater' Evans, Maka Albarn, Melody Evans

**Pairing(s):** Soul/Maka, mentions Black Star/Tsubaki

**Summary:** He's just no good at this 'dad' thing.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Author's Notes: **Alright, finally got this one done! I have about three more written, but they're still being fixed and tweaked, so I'm not sure when I'll be posting them. Anyway, Melody is around four here (and by four I mean like _just turning_ four) and by the end of this Maka is about six months pregnant. Anymore questions and I'll be happy to answer. Enjoy!

* * *

_02. when she's a jealous sister__._

* * *

Soul distantly remembers feeling elated when Maka's stomach began to grow once more. When that euphoric, excited feeling settled in the pit of his stomach and he got to feel tiny kicks. It had been three years almost since she'd last been pregnant, and Soul is only now remembering the nights that he didn't sleep because his pregnant meister couldn't, and even though she said _"Soul get some rest, I'll be fine,"_ he stayed up anyway. But it's not the lack of sleep that's getting to him or even the morning sickness that she _still_ has or the fact that she's peed herself more than _White Star_ did when he was potty-training. No, it's Melody.

He might find it funny, in some other reality where someone else was pregnant and Melody wasn't his kid, but it's not funny now. Especially when she asks, "Hey daddy, where do babies come from, huh?"

Soul sputters, nearly choking on his coffee (fifth of the day, but hey it's only three). "What? Uh—don't you want to ask your mama that one?"

"Why?" She tilts her head, hand pausing over her colouring book. "You don't know?"

"I do," Soul says, crossing his arms over his chest. "But it's an uh…an uncool question. So your mama would know much better."

"…oh."

"Yeah."

They lapse into a comfortable silence. Soul, sitting and staring off into space, tapping a beat out on the table with the tips of his fingers, and Melody, colouring in Winnie the Pooh. With a glance over at the clock, Soul notes that he only has fifteen minutes until Maka gets back from the DWMA.

"What do you want the baby in mama's belly to be?" He asks, digging through the cupboards for something to eat for dinner.

"A weapon! No…a me-meis-mishter. No…_both!"_

Soul looks at her over his shoulder, grinning at her. "I meant boy or girl you big goof."

She purses her lips at him, eyebrows drawing to the center of her forehead. "Mama said no name callin'."

He holds up his hands in apology, and she grins. "Um. I want a sister…_annnndd_ a brother. Can I have both?"

Soul fucking hopes she doesn't have both. He remembers when Melody was a screaming, shitting, sleeping machine and he's dreading the first few months after the pregnancy.

"Uh…probably not," Soul answers, shuddering at the thought.

* * *

Maka is grabbing his hand too tightly but he doesn't say anything about it. Instead, he directs his gaze to the door, waiting for their doctor to waltz in and tell them the "important" news.

She'd been up all night _worrying,_ and while Soul had assured her that there was nothing _to_ worry about, she continued to worry anyway. She was always good at doing things Soul tells her not to.

The doctor walks in with an exaggerated flourish, and Maka exhales sharply, clutching even tighter, if possible.

The greying man grins at the two of them and holds up an ultrasound photo. "Congratulations, you've got twins!"

* * *

"I mean—" Soul tightens his grip in the steering wheel while Maka pets her stomach happily. "How the fuck did we manage to fit _two_ in there?"

Maka glares at him.

* * *

"That's my little jinx," Soul grins, stepping away from the car to catch his daughter, who comes barreling out of the preschool. Maka honks the horn at him and glares a bit more, but Soul ignores her in favor of flicking his daughter on the nose. "Guess who's getting two new babies?"

Melody's eyes widen and she shrieks, kicking him in the stomach in her glee, and Soul likes the enthusiasm. He'll need it to get him and Maka through the first year. That or a Tsubaki.

* * *

Months later finds Soul with his feet on the table and Maka tucked against his side, her eyes half-closed. "One was bad enough. Now _two_ keep me awake," she mutters, pressing her face against him. She tightens her hold around the blanket and says something about turning the TV down a bit so she can try and rest. Soul does so without replying and half-watches the TV as she nods in and out of consciousness.

He almost doesn't notice when Melody walks into the living room with the back of her nightgown tucked into her panties. The two stare at each other for a moment, Soul growing amused with her seemingly oblivious attitude, and the other yawning. Melody rubs at her eyes with the heel of her palm and walks toward him.

"Daddy, can I have water?" She whispers, hand rising to grab her mama's. Maka shifts a bit, eyes cracking open, but they close almost immediately. Soul's daughter continues to stare at him, mouth opening in a yawn when he pulls her nightgown out of her undies.

"Sure," He nods, stretching his arms above his head. Melody waits patiently while he shifts Maka into a more comfortable position.

Melody takes his hand when he stands, and Soul squeezes it softly. "Did you flush when you went pee?"

"Um, no." She answers, rubbing her eyes again. "Forgot…"

"Mm."

They're both quiet while he gets her a glass of water, almost too quiet, and he turns to look over his shoulder more than once to see if she'd fallen asleep, but each time her gaze is directed at Maka's sleeping form in the other room. "Hey daddy?"

Soul leans against the counter, "Yes?"

Melody turns to look at him, eyes suddenly very awake. She's a lot like him, he thinks, and doesn't know if that's a good thing. She slumps on the table, arms spreading out in front of her. Her white hair, which has gotten long and unruly, covers part of her face. "I don't want to share you and mama."

_Fuck,_ Soul thinks. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. Maka was saying something about this, wasn't she? Oh fuckity fuck goddamn. Okay. Uh… _"Why not? I mean…that'll be fun. Having two new brothers's to play with?"

"I don't want brothers."

"Well maybe they're girls?" He tries, hoping this is the right thing to say. But…well, what if they _aren't?_ Then he'll have to…ah _fuck._ He wonders if he can wake Maka up with his thoughts. And immediately thinks about how _stupid_ that sounds.

"No!" She bangs her hands against the table, and Soul stands up straighter, eyebrows furrowing.

"Hey—"

"_White Star said that you'll only pay 'ttention to them just like his mama and daddy only paid 'ttention to Mas when he was borned!"_

Soul _knows_ Maka is awake now, and he can feel her pressing against their bond, wondering what's wrong. He tries to reassure her, but she's already in the doorway, hand on her stomach. "Melly?"

The little girl scrubs at her face angrily, biting her lip with her sharp teeth hard enough to make it bleed.

Something clicks in his head and he darts forward, already at her side and brushing his thumb across her lip, wiping the tiny bit of blood away. Startled, she looks at him, lips trembling.

"Mama and daddy are still going to pay attention to you, sweet girl," Maka laughs lightly, pulling one of the chairs away from the table and next to Melody. "You'll just have to share us with your new siblings."

"But I don't _wanna," _she snaps, tears dripping down her face. Her lip is angry and red from where she'd bitten it. "S'not _fair."_

Both Soul and Maka are at a loss for words. They look at each other briefly, but neither knows what to do. It's frustrating. Tears continue dripping down Melody's face. Tears and snot, and she's _hiccupping_ too, and Soul thinks she is certainly the most pathetic little kid ever, but she's the cutest too. "You big dork," Soul mutters, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her cheek, pinching her nose between his fingers, getting snot on them in the process. "You know, if White Star saw you crying like this, he'd probably hit you—"

"—_Soul!" _Maka hisses under her breath, shooting him a warning look, but he continues.

"—but you know what? He really likes Mas, don't he?"

Melody sniffles, tongue darting out to run over her lip. "Uh-huh."

"So maybe he didn't at first, or maybe he was jealous but look at how much he likes having a brother now. And I bet if _you_ liked your new brothers or sisters _before_ they're born, you'll be cooler than White Star."

Soul keeps his gaze away from Maka, because he'll probably turn beet red if he looks at her. She's probably got that stupid fucking smile and—

"'kay…"

"Cool," Soul grins, releasing her nose and wiping his fingers on his pants. She sniffs and Maka wipes at her face with a dishtowel—_where did she get that?_

After a few minutes and Melody's glass of water, Soul is ushering Maka back into their room, both thoroughly tired out from that little experience.

"You're a really cool dad, Soul."

He wrinkles his nose at her and flicks his wife on the forehead. "Yeah, yeah, get some sleep."

* * *

**please review!**


End file.
